Sabtu, 17 September 2011

and things gets complicated

it's my second year in the senior high school years, and it's killing me. the tests, the papers, all ASSignment the teachers gave. hopeless. anyway, i'm taking the sience major, which makes it worse.
my career as a cheerleader stuck on being the money helder, i failed to make a captain. well, on the brightside, the juniors doesn't have to feel intimidated by me. i cheer.
now, to the part i hope will gets better. love life. me and dani ends for good on 13 july 2011, i called it off. it is a very hard decission, i admit it, but after times and times being sad and blue because of him, i decided. he has to choose, or i will. he doesn't, so i chose. i chose that it'll be better for us to go in our separate ways. we're just not meant to be together anymore and we want different things fo sho. he wants a girl to have fun while i need a boy who wants to commit. i can't fully blame him since i've never actually say what i want, but i've told him, by signs *sighs* am i making my signs clear? or he was doesn't want to commit.
now, i've said my point, and he doesn't want to let me go. he's hoping i'll tell him by meeting him. you wish!! so, everything was clear and bright, i like another boy named Nino, he's fine. he's smart, great body and face, humorous, but...he's a seminarian. he's training to be a priest, which means no girls, which means no time for dating, which mean my feelings are hopeless. so, while i was trying to completely forget nino, my heart is empty for a moment. not for long because, dani is back.
he's an ass, even more than before. not that i fall for him again, but he made me wondering, what if i do it differently? would it be better? and that's what's making me feeling blue. the wondering part. i also wondering whether he still likes (loves) me or not. well, part of me wants to know, but the other part of me are too afraid to find out.
let's just hope for the best a'rite *finger crossed*

Minggu, 15 Mei 2011

a pleasure for the nation

i'm a cheerleader, lav it <3
i'm part of phoenix, proud of it <3
we're on the 9th position on the regional elimination, out of 31 contestants
some pics i'll post

new uniform, kewl eh?

me and mi momma

it was 14th of February 2011, the news's already expired

valentine's day, love, mates, chocolates. my chocolate for you, after yours for me. two boxes. big and small. easy bites and chocolate bar. milk chocolate and black forest. a cadbury. and a frey. a love from me to you, you to me :')

just when the movie ends, i know i'm alone

i was just watching a dvd marathon for like 2 or 3 hours, and i was feeling completely fine, like supah fine. in the middle of my movie marathon, my bestie, Owen, skyped me she said she got a few things going on. we talked for like only half an hour. after she hang up her call, i continued watching how i met your mother. while the movie is playing, i constantly checking my phone, my msn, my twitter, hoping to see something from Dani.
before i started the movie marathon, i got a text from him and he didn't reply me back so i was waiting for his replies.
i finished watching around 7pm and when the sound of the movie stopped, the flashing images stopped, i realized something. i'm alone.
i'm simply very alone. no text messages, no missed calls, no mentions, nothing. not from him. not from my friends. not from my mom who's currently away. not from my dad whom about to watch andrea bocelli. nor from my brother that's only a room away.
the loudness of silence, the darkness of loneliness, the feeling of invincible. it hits me, it hits me hard.
and as i dropped few tears to my bed, and after one or two tweets, my phone vibrates. in the middle of my loneliness and my feeling of being un-important, there's a call. a call that i've been longing for days. Dani_ _ H_ _ _ _ _ _ _ T. how my mood jumped from marianas trench to the top of mount everest.
that was, the best feeling i've ever known. knowing someone's there when you're alone. who knows when you need them the most, when you need something to cheer you up. and that's why i love him. because he always come at the right moments. and when i'm with him, i know that i'm not alone.

Rabu, 09 Februari 2011

upsie dipsy

whooops udah mau kenaikan kelas, uyee
*audience clapping*
terima kasih, terima kasih. sebenernya, hari ini saya mau sedikit curcol, tapiii *celingak celinguk* mumpung gaada yang ngefollow ini yeeaaa *curcol*
ehem eheem
jadi gini nih masbro dan mbaksist semua, saya single *booo dari dulu woy* tapi not available. lah gimana tuh?
sebenernya gua lagi suka sama cowok, sebut aja NT. tapii.... he's no good for me. bukan maksud eksklusif ato apa, cumaa emang kenyataannya gitu. gini deh ya kawan, dia udah ngincer gua dari september *UWOOOOO* dan gua baru ngerespon januari. oke, gua salah tapi itu ya gara gara dia juga. before, he was a dirty-minded boy that thinks this all's just a game, but now? heem, now?
dia udah nyatain suka ke gua, sayang juga udah, ngajak aku-kamuan udah, that time i thought he was serious, damn serious. but now, gua udah ngerespon, gua bales aku-kamu, gua udah bilang suka dll. he slipped away. hurts? totally!!!
dan sekarang gua baru sadar kalo dia emang bener bener ga baik buat gua. too late pad, you've hurt :(

Senin, 15 November 2010


yak, jadi begini. heem jadi bingung mau mulai darimana. jadi begini... apa kabar bloggie dan saya masih bingung mau ngomong apa. awalnya sih mau cerita pengalaman sma tapi ... mulai darimanaaaaa?!!
okeh reader *padahal gaada yang baca juga kayaknya* i loooove my highschool live! seriously, full of drama, activities, and amazing stories
i make lots of new friends ada maria, anjani, blaaaa blaaaa blaaaaa. gua ikut ekskul cheers loh, WOW!! dan gua uda dua kali perform. yang pertama di acara opening cheerleader competition at gonzfest, daaaaan yang keduaaaaaa terereeeengtereeeeeeeng anttics cheerleader competition by SMAN 3 at senayan hall a! dan sepertinya, kami... tidak juara
anywaaaays there are dramas that i'd rather keep it to my self since there's no one reading his blog too. and, those drama are rather complicated.
some pics i'm gonna put to pleasure myself :D

Senin, 12 Juli 2010


heyy, gua uda mulkai hari pertama sekolah, dan uda mulai MOS. mos di sekolah baru gua sih so far so good, walau uda hari kedua mos gua masih menjadi teman setia kursi kursi di aula seminari. you should give me loud applause, dalam dua hari gua dapet beberapa teman baru. hope this year will be fun *keep crossing fingers* foto menyusul ;D
Daaaan, sekarang uda seminggu gua sekolah do Gonz, and i LOVE it! pelajarannya asik, gurunya asik, sekolahnya asik, temennya juga asik!
and, thats the poict of my beloved class, X3 with pangdiv-angdiv divisi 3